#datinglife

I feel like I date... A LOT. I'm totally ready for the next phase in life of settling down with Mr. Perfect. Don't get me wrong I still love the idea of going out and partying until 4 AM every Saturday, but it would be nice to have a partner in crime to do it with me.

My friends keep telling me that I need to start writing down all my dating stores, so here goes. The newest addition to my blog will be my ever changing dating life. Lord knows my memory is shit, so maybe it's good that I'm finally writing these stories down.

Let's start with 2014...

I broke up with the man I thought I was going to marry. The relationship had gone south a good 6 months prior, but I held on and hopped that it would one day change. That eventually we would get to that amazing place that we were at when we first started seeing each other.  As he snored away in la-la land, I would lay in bed crying night after night, hoping and praying that things would change. It didn't. Well, not until I broke things off. I was a mess afterwards and still haven't fully recovered from it. Thanks to social media, I see that he's now found the "love of his life", which makes me sick to my stomach. I know, I know... I broke up with him, I should be happy for him, he wasn't the right one, yada yada yada, but it doesn't change the way my heart feels about him. I'll spare you the details, but trust me, we had issues, namely one big one that he would NEVER talk about. It's crazy how sex can bring a relationship up and then crash it down.

Enough about him... let's get into the funny stuff.

So after our breakup, I took a bit of a hiatus from dating. I figured it was best to take some time to myself. Eventually though I was ready to get myself back out there. I went out a lot, so I never had a problem meeting guys, but I decided I wanted to be down with the cool kids and try this new app Tinder. I went out on tons of date and met some great and not so great guys.

Swipe Left or Swipe Right

Here's an example of each:

There was the magician who did magic tricks on our date (sounds lame, I know, but it was actually very impressive!). At one point he told me to close my eyes. I thought he was going to put a card in front of my face or something so when I felt him come near I did a little bark and pretended to bite him (I sound crazy). Well, he wasn't doing a trick... he was being cute and was trying to kiss me, but instead I was trying to bite him. #headslap Don't worry we made out later and went out a couple more times ;)

UGH. Then there was this date with... gosh I don't even remember his name. Anyway, clearly it doesn't matter. So I'm talking with this Italian guy, super cute and we agree to go to this place down the street from my house. I'm outside talking with my doorman about life when I see this short guy with baggy pants walking down the side walk. I immediately turn to the doorman and say, if this is my date I'm gonna die. OF COURSE HE WAS THE GUY! Did I mention that I'm only 5'1? If I think someone is short, then you know there's an issue.

This guy looked NOTHING like his pictures. They must have been taken a while ago. Rule #1 of online dating should be that you need to have an updated picture. Momma raised me right, so I was polite and suggested that we go to the pub on the corner. We sit at the bar and chit chat and immediately I realize that he's agreeing with everything I'm saying. Ya know that person, the one that doesn't form their own opinion OR the one who's trying WAY to hard to impress you. I find it incredibly annoying. Please just be real!

45 min into the date I tell the guy I'm exhausted and that I need to head home because I have to get up early for work. At this point I can tell he's totally into me, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom to text my doorman. I asked him to come outside in 5 minutes because I was afraid this guy was going to try to kiss me. Sure enough, he tried. I whispered in his ear, not in front of my friend, gave him a hug and scooted my ass inside.

Fucking Tinder Town!

Build-a-WHAT?

I had been dating this awesome guy for about a month when Valentine's Day hit. What God awful timing! It's such a fun, but awkward time for the national holiday of love to hit. I went back and forth with my friends as to whether or not I should get him a present. After making a comment about being so excited to give me my present, I knew I had to get him something. But what do you get a guy you just started dating? After shopping with my other "boyfriend" Anthony I settled on a Gucci tie. He had great style and loved designer items so I figured it was perfect.

Valentine's day arrives, my apartment was decorated with candles, and I had on a sexy outfit. He walks in and I notice he has this backpack like thing on. With a cheshire grin, he turns around and to my horror it's a fucking teddy bear in a backpack bag. He takes the bag off and hands it to me. Inside was a bottle of wine (I knew I was going to need a drink after this) and the bear. Now this was not just any bear, this was a build-a-bear, which means it had a number of accessories. My new bear featured glasses, skinny jeans, roses, a red t-shirt that said Hugs on it, and heart inside that would actually beat.

Guys, there are a number of things wrong with this gift...

1. I'm not 7 years old
2. It's not romantic, not even a little bit
3. It's another chotchkies that I have to keep around my apartment 
4. Speaking of apartment, it doesn't go with the aesthetics of my place. I mean it's pink and grey in here, not red and black. 
5. I'm still not 7 years old, nor do I have a 7 year old

When it was his turn to open his gift I felt like a fool. My friend had told me earlier that I should get two gifts at two different price points. Depending on what he gave me I would pull out the more appropriate gift LOL!

The next day I went into work (we had celebrated the holiday on Sunday) and told everyone in my area about the newest addition to my life... a teddy bear. I thought I was being a brat until my coworkers agreed, the bear had to go. But where on earth was I going to put it? What, I'd have to take it out and put it away every time he came over? Nah, that's not going to work. After laughing and teasing about my gift all day, one of my coworkers asked me to bring the bear in for show and tell. Then it hit me- I'll keep the bear at work! This is my desk:

OMG Now that we've broken up, what am I supposed to do with this bear?!

Shana's Maid of Honor

In case any of you were wondering, Tinder town works! How do I know this you ask, well because my bestie Shana met her future husband Jeremy on there. They both committed to swiping right and now they are happy, in love, and engaged to be married this October! 

I. Could. Not. Be. Happier. Well, I take that back, I was slightly happier when Shana asked me to be her Maid of Honor. This is one of the greatest privileges in a friendship and I am completely and utterly honored. 

Shana, being the sneaky squirrel that she is, asked me to come over and hang out. I walked in the house and started chatting it up when she asked me to come into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?", She says. I replied, "Yeah, whatever you have open..." and kept talking. That's when I noticed she was pointing to a bottle of Prosecco. I finally slowed down to read the label...

UM WHAT? (this is about the time I started crying and hugging her). Shana, then asked if my answer was Yes? HELL YES it's a YES!

A week or so after Shana asked me she also asked our mutual best friend Kristin. The plan was to go to this awesome restaurant for dinner, but unfortunately it didn't work out. We ended up at the Houghbrough House, where they have a live polka band! The place is crazy loud, so unfortunately there wasn't a nice quiet opportunity for Shana to ask Kiki. Shana decided there was no time like the present; she gave Kiki a box with a balloon inside a pin that said pop me. Once she did Kristin found a ribbon that said, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" Aww... <3

Of course she said yes!

I can't even put into words how much I love them. I'm excited that we're able to share these momentous experiences in our lives together. I look forward to so many more life celebrations with these two!

Chiberia

Chicago winter's are God awful. Frigid temperatures, snow, slush, harsh winds, and thunder snow that seem to go on for months and months... oh wait, they do go on for months and months, from November to March! Chicagoians have gotten creative with our winters referring to them as Chiberia or Snomageddon Even though it's dreadful, it does look beautiful when it blankets the city...

And this one's for all my facebook friends... Thanks for the update guys :/

Best. Gift. Ever.

The only person I ever exchange Christmas gifts with is my best friend Kristin. It's become a tradition to exchange presents on Christmas Eve and give each other an ornament. This year Kiki gave me the most thoughtful present I've ever received... and anchor necklace. While the necklace is beautiful, it's what she wrote on the card that had me in tears...

I wear this necklace everyday. And every time I touch it I think of not only Kristin, but also of hope, steadfastness, taking chances, having new experiences, certainty, and trust. I love this card so much I put it in a frame. Sometimes we need those daily reminders to trust ourselves and try new things!

Thank you Kiki! I will cherish this gift all the days of my life <3

Gold leafing

I need to stop going on Pinterest. I keep coming up with this "brilliant" ideas/projects that take me forever to complete. My most recent project was on a blog I saw HERE. This chick turned this Vittsjo nesting table from Ikea into a beautiful high end looking table, so of course I had to do the same. It's easy she said, only need  little patients, she said... UM YEAH RIGHT!

Have you ever worked with gold leaf? Cause it's a bitch! 

Before attempting this crappy project I watched countless videos and read a number of blogs on gold leafing. Apply adhesive, slap on gold leaf, and then add another coat of adhesive... seems simple enough. NOPE!

Issue #1: I live in a 750 square foot studio apartment, without a balcony

Issue #2: Spray adhesive gets everywhere (my remote will never be the same)

Issue #3: Gold leaf is a fussy fussy bitch. She needs to be handled as delicately as possible and even then she may still have a nervous breakdown                      and fall apart. 

 I started off with spray painting the table gold (at my moms house). Then I brought it home and put it together. As I was doing this I noticed that some of the spray paint was chipping, but thought that's okay I'm putting leaf over (#doomedfromthestart). Then I started with the gold leaf. I tried a number of different adhesives, but found Modge Podge to work the best. I must have put 40 hours into this table and it was not looking good.That's when I found this little gem... Liquid Leaf.

I should have started with this bad boy from the beginning. Once I finished leafing the entire table I went in with the liquid leaf and filled in all the cracks. It looked so good that I ended up covering the entire table with it. Doesn't it look so much better?!

Now I'm proudly displaying my gold work of art in the middle of my dining room...

PS I'm never gold leafing again!

31st Bday

31 Was. Epic. 

I can't even begin to tell you how much fun it was. Of course I was running late (as usual) to my own party, but eventually I got to 9 Muses in Greek Town, where I found countless friends ready to party the night away. The evening starting out pretty calm and quickly became a shit show (it may have been the 31 shots I had consumed!) 

As you can see I started to get carried away and throw every napkin with in a 3 mile radius into the air, which quickly ended up in a mess on the floor. At some point we must have ran out of napkins, because I have a fuzzy video of me throwing 4,000 straws at Peter LOL.

After Muses we decided to go to Underground, but the problem was we had wayyy too many guys with us, so I knew we were never going to get in. That's when the brilliant idea of heading to Boss Bar came to me. (Now I don't know if you've ever gone to Boss Bar, but it is the hole in the wall of River North and open till 4 AM.) 

Of course we started drinking more and taking more shots... everyone was a mess (I was so hammered I even forgot to take pictures!). At one point I was sitting on a bar stool giggling, when Gina walked over. Her coat was on the back of my chair. Instead of asking me to move she started to pull at the coat. That's when I looked over and saw Gina go down like a ton of bricks. It was amazing and I could not stop laughing. Suddenly there were 15 guys trying to help her up, but for some reason shit was getting tricky. 

After that Priya, Gina, and I realized we were done for the night and that it was time to go home... thank God!

Love them for making life so special...